Belgium, score.

I love people who are even wittier than the poster.
I read that Bill Tyndale was burned at the stake in Vilvoorde. SAFE.

Newsflash!

This just in: headless Finnish man has my jacket.

(not since the nazis have so many people dressed the same, etc.)

Caesarian Sunday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y01SPE2M_F4&search=caesarian%20sunday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPRgvZuUEYE&search=caesarian%20sunday

a long time ago Jesus rugby club started drinking pimms on Jesus Green on the last Sunday of the rugby season

some years later, the Girton drinking society (slogan: 'probably the best drinking society in the world') thought it would be japes to invade Jesus green and steal their pimms.

Fighting Ensues.

Everyone thinks, gosh that was fun, lets do it again next year

[years pass]


nowadays, on the sunday closest to the 1st of may (i think):

4 pm------Jesus guys assemble in a designated part of the green (dressed in togas, obviously) and start necking pimms
5.30pm----Girton boys arrive (their bodies painted green, equally obviously) and circle jesus boys in semi-war dance. They fight.
minutes later their girlfriends wade in, wasted* and shouting 'oh my god he hit my boyfriend OH MY GOD HE HIT ME' and then fall over
then----- the dirty, black-eyed, sweating rugby players are sprayed with whipped cream which their girlfriends must lick off (history does not reccount the beginnings of that tradition, maybe it's part of their initiation)


then, i guess, they go to life, and it's see you next year, kids.


*trinity girls drinking societies hold initiations on caesarian sunday. in many, the girls are not allowed to wear underwear beneath their compulsory green, short skirts



more cantab fun:

Downing Scum

Rah Scum

scum bum club that probably doesn't exist anymore

Three Early Modern Utopias

i tried to upload some photos, but blogger is a slut. i'm going to go and eat.

the word of the day is hendiadys. hendia-diss.

[i had a shower]

here is why

ST ANDREWS IS SHIT







NATHAN BARLEY IS AMAZING

no photos, you dirty voyeurs.

tonight there will be no photos
but i drank anyway

yesterday:

2 beers
2 vodka tonics
stuff beer and stuff don't remember pre-theatrefeelingillcrap
one whiskey )again, talkisker, cos i fucking rule)
and one going to the theatre
and one coffee

today:

2.5 long island ice tea(s?)
2 'nordic ice's' (from fez) [which is a cocktail/cock, not a lovely thing with the alcopop in it
1 double v &t
2 pints
3 shots of vodka
1 pint
1 nordic ice tes (back at fez)
1 dirty beer (xxxx) [fucking australian cunts.]

and today and yesterday and tomorrow i did and did and i will take some ibuprofen/maybe alvedon is paracetomol/maybe it's running/run out so i don't care a lot

renaissance self-fashioning

My name is stephen greenblatt and i am a man of letters.

i reiterate, i am like the very hungry caterpiller, but for alcohol.

1 pint carlsberg
1/2 pint cider
30 ml talisker 10 yrs aged
3.5? pints carlsberg
1/2 bottle of wine
n pints of ale (courtesy of the rugby club)

my retinas hurt this morning

i went to this pub




but they weren't very keen on letting us in without i.d.s or shoes,
so we went back to get them

we bought the wine, thought it was corked, took it back to the bar.
they grudgingly replaced it and we were v happy to find that the second one tasted almost identical (i.e. of tires)

we left the pub and i left behind my tobacco so i went back to try to find it, but mr bouncer unhelpfully wouldn't let me in.

Dramatis personae:
-me
-alcohol
-my tobacco
-various cunt bouncers

me: you work in the fucking service industry and i have seen neither service nor industry from you at any point.

him: yada yada they are cleaning up, it's probably been thrown away.

his boss walks up and mr bouncer tries to explain the situation

me: NO listen to ME, i'm not drunk, i know what's going on here, you probably think i'm drunk don't you?

the boss: listen son i think you're a lot of things, drunk isn't one of them

me: oh so what am i then? why don't you tell me what you think i am?

the boss: i think your barred from this pub [cassage complete

me: yeah? well where else do you work, why don't you bar me from there too while your at it

the boss: ok i will...

etc etc


post fucking scriptum

i also had a massive argument with a very fat 43 yr old man (who is in 'the alumni/development department - it's his job to queeze money from us once we leave, cos we are all gonna love our alma mater and remember it fondly*) about fund-raising and being in a piss-poor college cos i thought he was the beer man and insulted his boss (i think i called her 'the bitch with the hair glued to the back of her head) he smoked cigars and talked about how he could be earning millions in the city but for the fact that he REALLY loved queens' or something.

other news:

i played ultimate frisbee for an hour. most sport i have ever done, i think.

the 'beer man' gave dave 20 pounds for his share of the 150 rugby pints and dave chewed it up and spat it out.

thus endeth the longest post ever


*i am going to get a queens' tatoo - a little sum'sum' like this:

ok it doesn't work. click hÄr