renaissance self-fashioning
My name is stephen greenblatt and i am a man of letters.
i reiterate, i am like the very hungry caterpiller, but for alcohol.
1 pint carlsberg
1/2 pint cider
30 ml talisker 10 yrs aged
3.5? pints carlsberg
1/2 bottle of wine
n pints of ale (courtesy of the rugby club)
my retinas hurt this morning
i went to this pub
but they weren't very keen on letting us in without i.d.s or shoes,
so we went back to get them
we bought the wine, thought it was corked, took it back to the bar.
they grudgingly replaced it and we were v happy to find that the second one tasted almost identical (i.e. of tires)
we left the pub and i left behind my tobacco so i went back to try to find it, but mr bouncer unhelpfully wouldn't let me in.
Dramatis personae:
-me
-alcohol
-my tobacco
-various cunt bouncers
me: you work in the fucking service industry and i have seen neither service nor industry from you at any point.
him: yada yada they are cleaning up, it's probably been thrown away.
his boss walks up and mr bouncer tries to explain the situation
me: NO listen to ME, i'm not drunk, i know what's going on here, you probably think i'm drunk don't you?
the boss: listen son i think you're a lot of things, drunk isn't one of them
me: oh so what am i then? why don't you tell me what you think i am?
the boss: i think your barred from this pub [cassage complete
me: yeah? well where else do you work, why don't you bar me from there too while your at it
the boss: ok i will...
etc etc
post fucking scriptum
i also had a massive argument with a very fat 43 yr old man (who is in 'the alumni/development department - it's his job to queeze money from us once we leave, cos we are all gonna love our alma mater and remember it fondly*) about fund-raising and being in a piss-poor college cos i thought he was the beer man and insulted his boss (i think i called her 'the bitch with the hair glued to the back of her head) he smoked cigars and talked about how he could be earning millions in the city but for the fact that he REALLY loved queens' or something.
other news:
i played ultimate frisbee for an hour. most sport i have ever done, i think.
the 'beer man' gave dave 20 pounds for his share of the 150 rugby pints and dave chewed it up and spat it out.
thus endeth the longest post ever
*i am going to get a queens' tatoo - a little sum'sum' like this:
ok it doesn't work. click hÄr
i reiterate, i am like the very hungry caterpiller, but for alcohol.
1 pint carlsberg
1/2 pint cider
30 ml talisker 10 yrs aged
3.5? pints carlsberg
1/2 bottle of wine
n pints of ale (courtesy of the rugby club)
my retinas hurt this morning
i went to this pub
but they weren't very keen on letting us in without i.d.s or shoes,
so we went back to get them
we bought the wine, thought it was corked, took it back to the bar.
they grudgingly replaced it and we were v happy to find that the second one tasted almost identical (i.e. of tires)
we left the pub and i left behind my tobacco so i went back to try to find it, but mr bouncer unhelpfully wouldn't let me in.
Dramatis personae:
-me
-alcohol
-my tobacco
-various cunt bouncers
me: you work in the fucking service industry and i have seen neither service nor industry from you at any point.
him: yada yada they are cleaning up, it's probably been thrown away.
his boss walks up and mr bouncer tries to explain the situation
me: NO listen to ME, i'm not drunk, i know what's going on here, you probably think i'm drunk don't you?
the boss: listen son i think you're a lot of things, drunk isn't one of them
me: oh so what am i then? why don't you tell me what you think i am?
the boss: i think your barred from this pub [cassage complete
me: yeah? well where else do you work, why don't you bar me from there too while your at it
the boss: ok i will...
etc etc
post fucking scriptum
i also had a massive argument with a very fat 43 yr old man (who is in 'the alumni/development department - it's his job to queeze money from us once we leave, cos we are all gonna love our alma mater and remember it fondly*) about fund-raising and being in a piss-poor college cos i thought he was the beer man and insulted his boss (i think i called her 'the bitch with the hair glued to the back of her head) he smoked cigars and talked about how he could be earning millions in the city but for the fact that he REALLY loved queens' or something.
other news:
i played ultimate frisbee for an hour. most sport i have ever done, i think.
the 'beer man' gave dave 20 pounds for his share of the 150 rugby pints and dave chewed it up and spat it out.
thus endeth the longest post ever
*i am going to get a queens' tatoo - a little sum'sum' like this:
ok it doesn't work. click hÄr
posted by pocketsdumbfat at 5:14 PM
5 Comments:
this reminds me of the time that we had the fight with tesco express. i still can't go in there. it sounds like you are having a good time saying fuck you to skool. if you get a tattoo can you get one of st johns? you know, for jokes.
did you really say this : you work in the fucking service industry and i have seen neither service nor industry from you at any point. or did you think of it after and wish youd said it and that the world hadnt spun and that your words hadnt run together like cbbc presenters in a cancer research marathon
caterpillar
hey as in fuck off i do english (as in) i don't need to be able to spell
and yes i fucking said that
may have stolen it from radio 4 but i said it nonethe-fucking-less
so fuck the-gerrymandering-fucking-mcfuck off. lucy. you cunt.
blogwars are STILL in
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