this is me on my 18th birthday (acting smooth, wishing i were still 17)
i puked quite a lot that night. i 'heaved' champagne and red wine and white wine and hoegaarden and salmon and something else but i was pretty drunk by the time we got to the main course so i don't remember and i puked up coffee both regular and decaff and i suppose some of those little biscuits that come with it. then i got very angry with nancy for smoking near me (i hate that fucking bitch) i'm the best drunk i know, smoke two packs then open up a can of dies irae on someone when they smoke

it wasn't MY birthday party, of course, oh no, that ended with shouting matches in a taxi, and frankly i prefer puking.