The Vision of Piers Ploughman

um. I was reading oakparkmastermind and it seems to me that the-retarded-stuff-we-used-to-do would be a fun theme to 'riff' on.

we were at a party once where we choked each other till we passed out, strictly for kicks. (we were supposed to be the older, wiser kids there.. still, aliyoh, 25 was playing spin the bottle with brendan's sister, 15, so we clearly weren't the only retards around)

we used to sniff poppers (and they are solvents, like glue, right?)

we snorted tequila when we were in 3rd year.. but didn't go so far as to shoot it in our eyes.

i wonder if smashing chunks of watermelon into your face, for a laugh and a packet of cigarettes (in florence) counts..

we told my little brother to try running across the plastic pool cover, cos it would definitely support his weight if he moved fast enough, jesus-lizard style. (needless to say he fell through and could have been trapped underneath.)

we used to have unprotected sex all the time. (brendan and i, of course.)

hello, mum.

[addenda: riding between the metro carriages with a laughing black guy during a tube-strike in paris. telling alistair to fuck off after he had waved a knife at me for telling him to fuck off. falling asleep in the toilet at brendan's with the door open, wearing only my smallest pair of boxers. driving with brendan to the nightshop to buy more vodka cos he had drunk what we had, um pulling skids with brendan and bending his axle, then driving on the bent axle to buy booze to take to sweden the next day. pulling more skids and stopping inches from a lamp-post. hello, brendan's mum]