Fake London Genius

Cold Girls

2007-02-01T13:47:00.000Z

Am------------------------G6
While the music played you worked by candle light

F6/9--------------------------------------Bb13
Those San Fransisco nights, they were the best in town

Am--------------------------G6
Just by chance you crossed a diamond with a pearl

F6/9---------------------------------------Bb13
You turned it on the world, that's when you turned the world around

G6-------G-------Am G6-------Dm7 G6 F6
Did you feel like Jesus Did you realise

Em7------------ Fmaj7---Em7----Dm7
That you were a champion in their eyes ?

C7#9(alternative for final C7#9 - see intro)

OUI BA CA VA TOI

2007-01-14T14:33:00.000Z

Taylors of Harrogate

2006-11-24T19:50:00.000Z

http://oakparkmastermind.blogspot.com/

read the choking/leaving post

a RUSH and a PUSH and the LAND is OURS

2006-11-20T18:06:00.000Z

I'M NOT ONE OF THE AUTHORISED VEHICLES AND I WEIGH MORE THAN TWO TONNES

AND SHOUTING ISN'T BIG OR CLEVER

The Icosasphere

2006-11-14T23:55:00.000Z

I'm not going to clara's party cos she is a bad person

Today I have watched 1 x Sopranos, 2 x Twin Peaks, 1 x Borat film, 1/2 x Wild Strawberries
- I am going to get square eyes

Formal chat from 3rd year SPS girl: I didn't know where spain was until last week

It's not boozeday tuesday today, though.

MORE BAD PHOTOS

2006-10-25T19:49:00.000+01:00

Things I Have Never Seen

2006-10-21T18:04:00.000+01:00

London

Cambridge in the snow

faut deja regarder si elle respire

2006-09-30T13:39:00.000+01:00

how green was my valley

2006-09-30T13:34:00.000+01:00

Biggar Dollar Cupar

2006-09-26T13:51:00.000+01:00

i was going to post a photo of the girl from school who had bad breast surgery.

but no i'm above that sorta thing (and this computer won't let me)

i drove like a 1000 miles in the last 5 days, isn't it EMPOWERING? (no)

we met people with stupid names, and drove through towns with stupid names.

(INVERKEITHING, CREIL, AUCHTERARDER, ST ANDREWS)

we also saw where the cocklepickers died.

Erinsborough Estivale

2006-09-14T16:13:00.000+01:00

mykonos

2006-09-14T16:06:00.000+01:00

paris fried chicken

2006-09-14T15:56:00.000+01:00

one of these photos is a don't

2006-09-14T15:49:00.000+01:00

local plums

2006-09-05T13:25:00.000+01:00

Ford Herman Hueffer Madox Ford

2006-08-31T20:49:00.000+01:00

I heard what you said -- the leaders are dead
Theyre robbing the skies -- I can hear their followers cry:
Ah -ooh -- starlings in the slipstream
[...]

The language of influence is cluttered with hard hard cs
And I put a spy-cam in a sorority
Ah-ooh -- darlings on the split-screen
[...]

Theres no women in alaska
Theres no creoles in vermont
Theres no coast of nebraska
My mother, I forgot

Slavic princess with a rose in her teeth
Do you suppose she would bite you if she could?
Insane cobra split the wood
Trader of the lowland breed

Call a jittney, drive away
In the slipstream we will stay
Stay away, away, away, away, away, away, away, away, away

khakis, cuff, crease.

2006-08-28T15:23:00.000+01:00

i can't upload any of my own photos, but it's ok they aren't super, anyway.

i went to edinburgh. that's pretty much it.

only saw 4 shows, but we went [check the annoying expressions for drinking] 'on the chop' and got extremely 'lashed'.

now i'm getting fucking fat, sitting in the countryside, staring at cows.

to quote kafka: 'K. took the letter, feeling dashed, and stuck it in his pocket.'

Boring Conversations. Chapter Two.

2006-08-16T14:26:00.000+01:00

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
hey

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
hey

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
how are ya

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
drunk

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
you?

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
greg is hottt there can be as many photos of him as i want

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
fuck you

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
nope

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
as in

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
where have you been?

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
yes he's kinda hot

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
but pff

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
enough egALE E FUCKING NOUGH

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
stop he was in bxl and i am a happy snapper

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
JAP SLAPPER

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
haha

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
ned where have you been

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
is he your main squeeze?

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
no really not

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
well what's with the worship then

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
just that

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
from afar

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
jafar

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
i get it

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
yass

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
fuck you

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
humour me

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
ok

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
jafar

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
i have a place in london now

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
in kings cross

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
znapp

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
yup

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
only cambridge

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
when R U going back to LNDN

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
early sept probably

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
well i'll stop by london then

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
go back before the tunth

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
ae you in the country?

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
i cant i have to be in greece

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
eleftherios

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
i understand

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
but no i'm in london

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
i just have to be in the country/spain after

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
doing publishing??

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
no i guess i could stay in london

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
it dependson my sister

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
who are you getting drunk with?

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
i just came back from paris

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
what were you doing there?

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
i was living in paris

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
for 2 weeks

pockets dumb fat
schnusschen
being a flaneur

schnusschen
pockets dumb fat
what!

I Fought the Law

2006-07-24T22:43:00.000+01:00

the law I fought against isn't the poll tax or the death penalty, it's this:

If you go to stay with a family years ago, representing your school at maths, and that family has a kid who IS a boy, but gets mad when you call it 'he' cos apparently it's a 'she'

when that kid emails you 7 years late (i have no idea how many years actually), it WILL be 'fit as'.

i'm eating snus.

Now she's gonna clean up the streets

2006-07-19T23:45:00.000+01:00

20/12/2004

22:25:02
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
et toi tu revien visiter kan old brussels
20/12/2004
22:25:06
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
Handwritten instant messages cannot be displayed in your message history.
20/12/2004
22:25:27
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
hmm le 28 creo
20/12/2004
22:26:50
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
oh ok y staras aqui para el ano nuevo o en UK
20/12/2004
22:28:32
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
bruselas
20/12/2004
22:28:48
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
pero no sé lo que voy a hacer..
20/12/2004
22:28:56
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
partying like amad animal surrounded by thugs
20/12/2004
22:29:01
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
(Y)
20/12/2004
22:29:04
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
good plan
20/12/2004
22:29:06
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
estaré con brendan, anna, nancy, elisa lottie
20/12/2004
22:29:08
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
che pas
20/12/2004
22:29:47
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
moi! avec des copains mais beaucoup on t maison libre donc je sais pas trop ce qu on fera
20/12/2004
22:29:58
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
comme qui..daniel lucas?
20/12/2004
22:30:25
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
lui je sais k il amaison libre
20/12/2004
22:30:32
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
mais pierre aussi
20/12/2004
22:30:33
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
mais c a waterloo
20/12/2004
22:30:36
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
beuh pierre
20/12/2004
22:30:43
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
attends lequel
20/12/2004
22:30:51
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
et c est pas trop bumblefuck ou il habite
20/12/2004
22:30:59
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
pierre le francais
20/12/2004
22:31:03
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
escobar?
20/12/2004
22:31:09
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
ca sera nul
20/12/2004
22:31:38
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
ok....si tu le dits
20/12/2004
22:31:51
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
c est que c est vrai alors
20/12/2004
22:32:08
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
fo' sure
20/12/2004
22:32:58
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
alors c est quoi le meilleur plan,toi qui sait tout
20/12/2004
22:33:01
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
:P
20/12/2004
22:34:06
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
c'est toi qui m'a dit qu'il vit dans un appart. et que son pere est mort? et que une fois il disait *wai mon pere et la haut* et quelqu'un n'a pas trop compris et demanda *pourquoi? il habite au prochain etage?*
20/12/2004
22:34:35
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
non c est pas moi
20/12/2004
22:34:49
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
il a une hyper grande maison a krainem
20/12/2004
22:35:17
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
mais quelqu'un me l'a dit
20/12/2004
22:35:27
Jóhann Jóhannsson The Fish
j'ai rit pendant des heures (assez mechamment)
20/12/2004
22:35:40
The Fish Jóhann Jóhannsson
mais tu es mechant

here endeth the dull, pretentious msn conversation from ages ago.
laborious copy pasting by me

and what the fuck, at the low (high?) ebb of stallone's career, he appears on a poster on which his (jewish?) mother has a bigger stand-in phallus than him. sweet.

read this instead

This one goes out to quintus, caecilius, metella..

2006-07-19T00:38:00.000+01:00

Hello my name is mr wood
I'd be groovy, if I could.
I was born in the time of Caesar,
That is why I'm such a geezer.

i'm a slut for hawks

2006-07-10T18:38:00.000+01:00

Here is a picture of will in his fake lacoste shirt.

here is a list of examples of 'us thumping the scum'
(important sports in bold)

Various Varsity 05/06 Results...

Polo:Cambridge 6 - Oxford 1
Tiddlywinks: Cambridge 80 - Oxford 32
MENFootball: Cambridge 1-0 Oxford
Rowing: Goldie won, by over 4 lengths
Rugby: Cambridge 31 - Oxford 16.
Rugby League: Cam 44 - Oxford 0
Fencing: Cambridge 111 - Oxford 110
Swimming: Cambridge 103 - Oxford 67
Judo: Cambridge wonMens A 6-2Mens B 5-3
Table Tennis: Cambridge won
Kendo: Cambridge won
Small-Bore Rifle: Cambridge won (all four trophies)
Eton Fives: Cambridge 2-1 Oxford
Mountain biking: Cambridge won
Athletics Relays: Cambridge 6-1 Oxford
Gaelic Football: Cambridge 4-13 Oxford 1-3 (All-time record winning margin!)
WOMENRowing: CUWBC Lightweights won, by a canvas (setting a new course record!)Lacrosse:Blues: Cambridge 10 - Oxford 7
2nds: Cambridge 9 - Oxford 6
Football: Cambridge 3 - Oxford 2
Hockey:2nds: Cambridge 4 Oxford 1
3rds: Cambridge 3 Oxford 0
Rugby:Tigers: Cambridge 12 - Oxford 0
Trampolining: Cambridge won all three categories

coldcall

2006-07-09T17:46:00.000+01:00

we went out, we were late, josh was in a bad mood, then he left.
i saw a girl in the best red dress i have ever seen and yes, it was like being punched in the face.

and they played 'your kisses. are wasted on me.' which is a neat song. i totally love it. didn't totally love the fucking dreadful band band, but yar. we took a nightbus and lucy fell asleep like in some fucking coke advert, except that we were fighting. apparently the night was called 'i want in' and the band were the winterkids.

now i am v fucking hugover and i have watched the wimbledon final and 3 episodes of fucking scrubs. um it's the final of the VM soon guys.

bethnal green and bow down

2006-07-04T16:41:00.000+01:00

HP Sauce

2006-07-03T22:36:00.000+01:00

went for dinner with my mother. saw alun johnson, jack straw and gordon brown
met John Reid and des brown.
woo.

Wheel or No Wheel

2006-07-02T00:48:00.000+01:00

Also, totally, blogworthy:

while wrecked at catz may ball, i stole their ceremonial wheel, took it to the main marquee and hid it behind a pillar. i wanted someone to see how cool i had been so i brought it out to the chairs by the dancefloor. then, no-one would take it from me, cos stealing it is a bit like pissing in trinity fountain, climbing on the jesus horse, only less obvious... so when someone was like 'gah what are you doing with that' i pushed it into someone's hands and went to get another, hugely unnecessary drink.

then i fell over while they were taking the survivor's photo. i am shit hot.

Notional Theatre

2006-07-02T00:19:00.000+01:00

I went to see 'Two Thousand Years' (admittedly, two thousand years late) and when, at the interval, i was looking pissed off about how unbearably piss-poor the whole thing was, i saw:

(the show's director) Mike Leigh!

Extra, bonus awkwardness: sitting behind me was a man i once heckled (with the words 'you fucking tory i hope you are happy when cameron wins', while he was broadcasting) was:

Nasty Nick Robinson!

i'm a fucking starspotter. i go to shit plays.
still, at least england are out, eh what?

check the champagne massiv

2006-06-30T19:17:00.000+01:00

Små Grodorna

2006-06-30T14:26:00.000+01:00

i went to sofo and the archipelago and i pretty much failed to take any pictures.
at midsummer i was taking photos with my pretty camera which didn't contain any film. SCORE. gah what else happened. we saw a snake, we went to debaser. t. wore a burka as practice for moving to arabsville.
well, safe. now i have to prostitute myself looking for jobs. i'm pretty sure some other stuff happened in sweden. i ate about 7 kilos of herring?

oh since i last wrote i went to trinity and catz may balls. woo. no but it was pretty fun.

DO

2006-06-17T11:04:00.000+01:00

clara is a do. You heard it here first.

This Building is not in Cambridge

2006-06-06T12:49:00.000+01:00

facebook is _____ than blogger.

Her whole life is an epigram: smack smooth, and neatly penned,
Platted quite neat to catch applause, with a sliding noose at the end

William Blake, 1793

I hate almost everything Blake ever wrote and painted

Belgium, score.

2006-05-25T00:48:00.000+01:00

I love people who are even wittier than the poster.
I read that Bill Tyndale was burned at the stake in Vilvoorde. SAFE.

Newsflash!

2006-05-17T19:23:00.000+01:00

This just in: headless Finnish man has my jacket.

(not since the nazis have so many people dressed the same, etc.)

Caesarian Sunday

2006-05-16T14:13:00.000+01:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y01SPE2M_F4&search=caesarian%20sunday

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPRgvZuUEYE&search=caesarian%20sunday

a long time ago Jesus rugby club started drinking pimms on Jesus Green on the last Sunday of the rugby season

some years later, the Girton drinking society (slogan: 'probably the best drinking society in the world') thought it would be japes to invade Jesus green and steal their pimms.

Fighting Ensues.

Everyone thinks, gosh that was fun, lets do it again next year

[years pass]

nowadays, on the sunday closest to the 1st of may (i think):

4 pm------Jesus guys assemble in a designated part of the green (dressed in togas, obviously) and start necking pimms
5.30pm----Girton boys arrive (their bodies painted green, equally obviously) and circle jesus boys in semi-war dance. They fight.
minutes later their girlfriends wade in, wasted* and shouting 'oh my god he hit my boyfriend OH MY GOD HE HIT ME' and then fall over
then----- the dirty, black-eyed, sweating rugby players are sprayed with whipped cream which their girlfriends must lick off (history does not reccount the beginnings of that tradition, maybe it's part of their initiation)

then, i guess, they go to life, and it's see you next year, kids.

*trinity girls drinking societies hold initiations on caesarian sunday. in many, the girls are not allowed to wear underwear beneath their compulsory green, short skirts

more cantab fun:

Downing Scum

Rah Scum

scum bum club that probably doesn't exist anymore

Three Early Modern Utopias

2006-05-15T18:03:00.000+01:00

i tried to upload some photos, but blogger is a slut. i'm going to go and eat.

the word of the day is hendiadys. hendia-diss.

[i had a shower]

here is why

2006-05-08T13:40:00.000+01:00

ST ANDREWS IS SHIT

NATHAN BARLEY IS AMAZING

no photos, you dirty voyeurs.

2006-05-08T02:09:00.000+01:00

tonight there will be no photos
but i drank anyway

yesterday:

2 beers
2 vodka tonics
stuff beer and stuff don't remember pre-theatrefeelingillcrap
one whiskey )again, talkisker, cos i fucking rule)
and one going to the theatre
and one coffee

today:

2.5 long island ice tea(s?)
2 'nordic ice's' (from fez) [which is a cocktail/cock, not a lovely thing with the alcopop in it
1 double v &t
2 pints
3 shots of vodka
1 pint
1 nordic ice tes (back at fez)
1 dirty beer (xxxx) [fucking australian cunts.]

and today and yesterday and tomorrow i did and did and i will take some ibuprofen/maybe alvedon is paracetomol/maybe it's running/run out so i don't care a lot

renaissance self-fashioning

2006-05-06T17:14:00.000+01:00

My name is stephen greenblatt and i am a man of letters.

i reiterate, i am like the very hungry caterpiller, but for alcohol.

1 pint carlsberg
1/2 pint cider
30 ml talisker 10 yrs aged
3.5? pints carlsberg
1/2 bottle of wine
n pints of ale (courtesy of the rugby club)

my retinas hurt this morning

i went to this pub

but they weren't very keen on letting us in without i.d.s or shoes,
so we went back to get them

we bought the wine, thought it was corked, took it back to the bar.
they grudgingly replaced it and we were v happy to find that the second one tasted almost identical (i.e. of tires)

we left the pub and i left behind my tobacco so i went back to try to find it, but mr bouncer unhelpfully wouldn't let me in.

Dramatis personae:
-me
-alcohol
-my tobacco
-various cunt bouncers

me: you work in the fucking service industry and i have seen neither service nor industry from you at any point.

him: yada yada they are cleaning up, it's probably been thrown away.

his boss walks up and mr bouncer tries to explain the situation

me: NO listen to ME, i'm not drunk, i know what's going on here, you probably think i'm drunk don't you?

the boss: listen son i think you're a lot of things, drunk isn't one of them

me: oh so what am i then? why don't you tell me what you think i am?

the boss: i think your barred from this pub [cassage complete

me: yeah? well where else do you work, why don't you bar me from there too while your at it

the boss: ok i will...

etc etc

post fucking scriptum

i also had a massive argument with a very fat 43 yr old man (who is in 'the alumni/development department - it's his job to queeze money from us once we leave, cos we are all gonna love our alma mater and remember it fondly*) about fund-raising and being in a piss-poor college cos i thought he was the beer man and insulted his boss (i think i called her 'the bitch with the hair glued to the back of her head) he smoked cigars and talked about how he could be earning millions in the city but for the fact that he REALLY loved queens' or something.

other news:

i played ultimate frisbee for an hour. most sport i have ever done, i think.

the 'beer man' gave dave 20 pounds for his share of the 150 rugby pints and dave chewed it up and spat it out.

thus endeth the longest post ever

*i am going to get a queens' tatoo - a little sum'sum' like this:

ok it doesn't work. click hÄr

Love in the time of H5N1

2006-04-29T14:18:00.000+01:00

I heartily recommend clicking to enlarge this photo.

But don't eat there.

Thursday Night:

3 Pints Carlsberg
2 long-island iced-teas with ice
2 ditto without ice (yum!)
1 pint Stella Mcwifebeater
1Vodka tonic
1 Van of Life Cheeseburger

Friday Night:

4 pints Carlsberg
2 double vodka tonics
2 x 500ml cans of Carlsberg
1 Gardies Cheeseburger

[2 x pissing on Caius.
1 lost boy from Girton we picked up along the way
1 Andy Saynor Swimming in the Cam]

En tutte är en tutte

2006-04-28T16:13:00.000+01:00

Falcon, Sofiero, Stockholm, KUNG, Lucky Star.

one day we will get bored of building beer structures.

America (Sweden) is not the World

2006-04-28T16:07:00.000+01:00

Photo Stolen from Vice

2006-04-25T12:51:00.000+01:00

My father said that on the ferries between Sweden and Estonia kids used to get wasted and walk along the hand-rail, high above the baltic. Also he said that he was once on one of those ferries when a (real) kid (as in- 'infant') fell in. oops.

He got a 3rd in PPE har har. Oxford spanked him.

(Liste 18)

2006-04-25T01:50:00.000+01:00

lucy, as in, please go back to berlin, or back to der hunsruck (+ umlauts)

janne's shirt.

2006-04-23T01:33:00.000+01:00

2006-04-20T02:24:00.000+01:00

2006-04-18T23:30:00.000+01:00

This is where I went on holiday, these are my parents, they like to play golf.
They have their very own website. It's right HERE. I hope you like it, they hope you like it, pretty much everyone involved hopes you fucking like it.

This is a dirty webcam photo [hur hur i should get more hits for that] of Sundsvall. A charming place we passed through on a very slow train through Sweden, aboard which one was NOT allowed to smoke.

I took my camera to Scotland and Sweden AND BELGIUM but I generally couldn't be arsed to charge the battery, even though I (or brendan*) paid 3.50 for an adaptor. I would show you the few photos I took, mostly of beercan structures, but I lost the USB cable thing.

Fun story? Shall I tell it again?

*Irish man, about yea high, owes me 100 euros. (lets 'call' it 100 'euros', it's 'probably' several 'thousand')

human crufts

2006-03-16T20:53:00.000Z

milosvic was a great statemen his funeral must be done with a huge parade serbian must be proud of milosvic, i give him the title of "the emperor of europe"
#
muhammad, lahore

More Boring: Photos

2006-03-13T18:01:00.000Z

for the aveugles among you, the text reads

It's like minimal, but not minimal since
minimal's not IN, but more like ESSENTIAL

this post will not be remixed by diplo

2006-03-04T17:23:00.000Z

i can't take photos. it has been snowing while sunny and i should have taken much nicer photos than these but of course i was smoking and wearing sunglasses and worrying about my bike/bag being stolen (not in the indoor one). i took them from a bridge which everyone, hilariously, calls 'orgasm bridge'. it leads to trinity hall (tit hall!! we are so funny!!)

in other news :

HER BANTER WAS WRITING CHEQUES HER FACE COULDN'T CASH.

churps lines:

'i love that shirt, it's really becoming on you, but then.. if i were on you i'd be coming too.'

'is that a mirror in your pocket, cos i can really see myself in your pants'

'does this rag smell of chlorophorm?'*

*a variation on 'does this taste of rohyp to you?' and how the fuck do you spell words like that?

RéPRAZEN

2006-02-27T12:26:00.000Z

Tout part et vient d'iciTu contestes ?
Prépare ton testament gars
Belsunce fleuron des quartiers phocéens
Coincés entre la gare et le vieux port
On est pas les plus à plaindre
À domicile comme à l'extérieur
On sévit sur les cafards comme le Baygon

...

On en garde un souvenir impérissable
Si un jour j'deviens vieux
Ce dont je doute avec la vie qu'je mène
J'écrirais un bouquin sur ce quartier
Belsunce...

John Ball according to Froissart

2006-02-27T12:24:00.000Z

2006-02-27T00:37:00.000Z

You Are A Runner And I Am My Father's Son

2006-02-23T14:45:00.000Z

Forget to Remember to Forget

2006-02-19T14:33:00.000Z

'To dream that a plane crashes, suggests that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. Your goals may be too high and are impossible to realize. You are in danger of having it come crashing down. Alternatively, your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt toward the goals you have set for yourself is represented by the crashing airplane; you do not believe in your ability to attain those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified. '

fuck off.

(what if you dream of two plane-crashes?)

la mela e la farfalla

2006-02-15T21:38:00.000Z

i wanna Hear What You've Gotta Say

2006-02-13T13:51:00.000Z

By 'The Subways'

MORE Lyrics from school.

2006-02-13T12:08:00.000Z

I'm leaving you all of my car parts
I didn't have the money or I would have gotten roses
You poured one more highball
But I had to go before my poor heart overflowed

Ceiling tiles and highway signs are flowing through my mind

I'm leaving under cover of darkness
I never had a home where I didn't need to hide
I've seen every lover leave me the same way
The harder they are the harder I try
That's a lie, but I say it with a smile

You put all your hope in my slim chance
I didn't know I had
I don't even have cigarettes

Baby wasn't down with the heist
I just tried to do what I thought was right
But baby wasn't down with it
She wasn't down

I'm leaving you all of my car parts
I'll call you when I'm coming back again if I can
I mean to quit stealing as soon as I steal for the last time
At least my watch is right two times a day

You put all your hope in my slim chance
I didn' know I had
I don't even have cigarettes

yes yes. i listened to the song every day on the bus. and on the way to the metro.

the long winters are the favourite band of discerning south-american socialists.

KRUG

2006-02-12T17:38:00.000Z

There's not much glamorous about the English weather
There's nothing left keeping us together
Sunshine on a Rainy Day
Makes me wanna Move Away

I think I've got it sorted -
I'm gonna get myself deported.

I'm not sending even one letter back
I'm drinking Henessey with Morrisey.

Castaways & Cut-outs

2006-02-12T15:05:00.000Z

I USED TO LOVE THIS SHIT

2006-02-08T16:43:00.000Z

Encore un jour se lève sur la planète France
Et je sors doucement de mes rêves je rentre dans la danse
Comme toujours il est huit heures du soir j'ai dormi tout le jour
Je me suis encore couché trop tard je me suis rendu sourd encore

Encore une soirée où la jeunesse France
Encore elle va bien s'amuser puisqu'ici rien a de sens
Alors elle va danser faire semblant d'être heureux
Pour aller gentiment se coucher mais demain rien n'ira mieux

Encore une soirée ou la jeunesse France
Encore elle va bien s'amuser dans cet état d'urgence
Alors elle va danser faire semblant d'exister
Qui sait si l'on ferme les yeux on vivra vieux

Encore un jour se lève sur la planète France
Et j'ai depuis longtemps perdu mes rêves je connais trop la danse
Comme toujours il est huit heures du soir j'ai dormi tout le jour
Mais je sais qu'on est quelques milliards à chercher l'amour

In Den Olifant

2006-02-07T22:43:00.000Z

Gotta Love Juergen Teller.

2006-02-06T20:46:00.000Z

they got the southern cookin'

only not in berlin, they don't, i guess.
it goes clause, clause, clause.

a classics guy told me that he thinks in 'ut' clauses
like: 'i am going to the toilet in order (ut) that i should piss (subjunctive)'

Litera Troili

'Righte fresshe flour, whos I have been and shal,
Withouten part of elleswhere servyse,
With herte, body, lif, lust, thought and al,
I, woful wyght, in everich humble wise
That tonge telle or herte may devyse,
As ofte as matere occupieth place,
Me recomaunde unto your noble grace'

SAFE

addendum

worry, worry, super scurry.
call the troops out in a hurry
this is what we waited for
this is it boys, this is war
the president is on the line
as 99 RED BALLOONS GO BY

it's all about maoism

2006-02-02T14:24:00.000Z

JUICY 'LUCY' THE LOVE SHACK SHACKLETON

WHERE ARE YOU?

if you get kidnapped do the stockholm syndrome thing and fuck your guards.
it must be safe cos it's called sthlm. right?

EURONEWS

2006-02-02T14:07:00.000Z

Ceci n'est pas un Boatrace, officer.

2006-01-31T17:57:00.000Z

I really hope she isn't wearing the print dress ironically, cos it's the best.
Should be accessorized with a big nose and many doubles (and dirty hair?)
But when you go out you should always get dressed then take one thing off.
So maybe she could have washed her hair. that's where i went wrong with zadie.

sorry, son

2006-01-29T18:12:00.000Z

herv says:
see that nebula

cherv says:
I calculated it's distance from us

herv says:
I did it during my workexpierience in Liège

cherv says:
to get familiar with astrophysics

herv says:
i had to calculate it's expansion velocity

cherv says:
take the time lapse it took between two intervals of time

cherv says:
from sept something 1997 and august smthg 1994

cherv says:
counting also 1996 as a bisextile year

herv says:
but the I had some equations to use to calculate its distance from us by using the "expansion tangentielle"

cherv says:
but I also calculated distances from a supernova, galaxy and gobular star cluster

cherv says:
using different methods

cherv says:
for example for a galaxy I used special types of stars that pulsate periodically

cherv says:
and then with the period I calculate the distance from each other

cherv says:
oops shit you're not here...

cherv says:
didn't realise

En Selle.

2006-01-28T19:16:00.000Z

today i bought organic, unpasteurised cheese and one tomato

my new bike is a cunt by the way, it rips my jeans.

i hate the coopa-troupers

2006-01-27T21:25:00.000Z

at least the beastie boys aren't old.

photo stolen from acrapwebsite.com

listen to the mario rap. ay, iwis.

imnevergonna quit/cos some kid at school told me you get toseethe princess' tits

the princess is a freak even though she got class
mario will take a plunger and stick it in her ass

Sidney Street

2006-01-26T17:52:00.000Z

If you penny something in Sainsbury's, Jamie Oliver HAS to down it.

The Gubernator Gropes

photophoTORum

2006-01-25T00:53:00.000Z

ed. Alex Preminger

2006-01-24T23:40:00.000Z

sentientiae

2006-01-22T00:15:00.000Z

came back to cambridge on friday 13th, first sober night since then, hello mum.
met zadie smith, was rude to her and vice the old versa
bullet points still rule. i assume they are one of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

*this piece of photoshopped goodness took 2 hours. we gave up on photoshop and used 'paint' hey i'm having supervishizzle in the white building (claim to fame?)

SPECIAL SCHOOL WEBCAM PROJECT

2006-01-20T16:29:00.000Z

Jens [Lekman] Pedersen

2006-01-19T19:48:00.000Z

THIS IS JENS AT A VICE PARTY. VICE. WE KNOW HIM.

[TORA DOESN'T REALLY KNOW HIM]

HIS DADDY TOOK THIS PHOTO FOR TOM 'FUCKING' WAITS.

this is today's double claim to fame.

KIDS IN THE HALL BRAIN CANDY

2006-01-15T20:21:00.000Z

THIS IS HOW MUCH 3.5% BEER YOU HAVE TO DRINK.

What Katy Did.

2006-01-14T19:35:00.000Z

This is where photos from HogMaNay should go but i deleted them all.
cos i'm a spazz and a half.

INCLUSO the photo of people fucking on the street. d'oye.

(Katy got her hair did)

2006-01-14T19:28:00.000Z

2006-01-14T19:26:00.000Z

2006-01-14T19:20:00.000Z

2006-01-14T19:17:00.000Z

BLT

2006-01-10T22:52:00.000Z

Dateline, King's Cross

i forgot to mention that this guy buttonholed me for money for a train ticket when i was at the station waiting for my edinburgh party-machen train and went like ahh dude i need to get back to cambridge can you help me out my cards have been stolen and i was like meuh no and then i saw him again and asked if he had had any luck he was like no, couldn't you go to the cash machine, please? [and he seemed pretty dishevelled and Cantabrian] so i went and the ATM told me my PIN was wrong and i was like dv dv dv sorry man it doesn't like me

and then he wanted me to go to one outside the station and i was like ahh but my train and then suddenly the god of stupid swept down and bashed me on the brain with his stupid stick and i told him that i only had some euros i could give him and he said yeah yeah that would be fine i can change them otherwise i'll be stuck here

so i handed over a crisp 50 euros, and he told me his name was benedict and promised to pay me back in cambridge, and i went to edinburgh for hogmagay with no cash, no access to funds, no nothing. {i had a bottle of wine, litre of vodka and some whisky in my suitcase, though}

and he hurried off, NbyNW in the direction of the ticket office.

['was't well done?' I know Ariel is a girl because I want her]

Fast forward to today..

and i'm chillaxing it to the max with my bags in paddington and there he is, sweating and coming down and probably panhandling and i know that the longer i make this story the more of a big fucking jew i seem but what the fuck, what a dirty great pile of dick and i hope he gets cancer of the ballsack (or a place at rehab and a helping hand back into society, yar.)

Liver & Onions

2006-01-10T19:00:00.000Z

BULLIT POINS
are fucking cool.

anyway safe. Orlando Bloom went to SoFo for Fucking happy new sylvester. way to destroy the illusion that it's not played out. thanks, orlando.

New Photographic Evidence opens up a debate that was previously thought to be the shortest ever; Was Connall Right to Bone Clara's Sister

Breakfast, LUNCH and DINNER

2006-01-04T22:17:00.000Z

Lucy K Shackleton, you will still read my blog when you go to Nepal which is not in SE Asia at all really.

You will have to because when i finally have a decent internet connection i am going to post literally 10,000 photos.

We failed to find any coal for the old 'first footing' (first fisting, whatever). Sucks.

Let's play 'In Edinburgh I Ate..'

I'll go first:

Day The First

Curry for Dinner
Chips at half-past-new-year
Whole Dirty Pepperoni Pizza at 6.30

Day The Second

Macdonalds for breakfast at 1.
Pasta mit shop gekaufd saucen
Whole Dirty Onion Pizza

Don't Remember the Order of the Rest

Bacon Butty (90p)
Chips
Cheese and Salami Sandwich
Pasta with half shop-bought sauce

How can you stay with a fat girl?

2005-12-22T14:28:00.000Z

The rain falls down on a humdrum town
This town has dragged you down
And everybody's got to live their life
And God knows I've got to live mine.

William, William, it was really nothing.
The brush of time [?]
How can you stay with a fat girl?
Who'll say:
'would you like to marry me?
and if you like we can by the ring'
She doesn't care about anything
Would you like to marry me?
and if you like we can buy the ring
I don't dream about anything
except myself'

Har har, the smiths are David 'call me dave' Cameron's FAVE band.
His favourite album is 'the queen is dead'. Even though he quite likes the queen.

LEPROTIC

2005-12-21T21:31:00.000Z

I think I'm in love with Black-face Jesus

I USED TO KNOW A FAT GIRL CALLED GRETA WITH FAT HAIR DOWN TO HER FAT, INUIT ASS.

it won't be that.. oh no it won't be that

2005-12-21T21:05:00.000Z

Can't leave rap* alone; the game needs me
Niggas want me clapped in chrome - it ain't easy.

Cops wanna knock me
D.A.s wanna box me in
but somehow I beat them charges like Rocky

-Not Guilty

He who does not feel me is not real to me
therefore does not exist
like -poof- vamoose bitch

*read 'the internet'

Swedish Designer Drugs

2005-12-21T18:46:00.000Z

I wanted to type the lyrics to the 'Rabbi Jacob' song.. then i realised that it's an intstrumental. MENTAL. I changed the computers but it's the dickie connection that yeah

Meat is Murder

2005-12-17T21:00:00.000Z

and My Parents are Killing Me;
they said they had recorded Heimat, but they screwed up.

YET once more, O ye Laurels, and once more

Ye Myrtles brown, with Ivy never-sear,

I com to pluck your Berries harsh and crude,

And with forc'd fingers rude,

Shatter your leaves before the mellowing year.

Bitter constraint, and sad occasion dear,

Compels me to disturb your season due:

For Lycidas is dead, dead ere his prime

Young Lycidas, and hath not left his peer:

Who would not sing for Lycidas? he knew

Himself to sing, and build the lofty rhyme.

He must not flote upon his watry bear

Unwept, and welter to the parching wind,

Without the meed of som melodious tear.

BRATWURST

2005-12-16T17:31:00.000Z

well. i have photos from cambridge, st andrews, london and berlin. but blogger and this computer are pretty slutty. so no photos for the mo. SOIT. look at my words instead.

'Images can wilfully betray representationalism, but words do so at their peril'

yeah well fuck you, i'll write a cubist blog if i like. my photos aren't as good as clarah's (cos my camera is a piece of junk), nor are they so numerous (cos i'm not a snap happy loser); schnappidyke.slut.com

en nu ben ik bij de countryside.. needless to say i want a cigarette.

San Andreas

2005-12-07T02:03:00.000Z

RDRR, jack, i used your joke.

Love and Some Verses

2005-11-30T18:45:00.000Z

Rock me, Virgil

Apiculture is the new black

no more supervishizle, no more lectures (i last went to one 3 weeks ago)

even when you touch

my face
.
you know
.
your place

and we should shine a light on
a light-on

and the book i write on's right on
it was right-on

/

g des p'tits problemes dans ma plantation
pourquoi ca pousse pas?

[i think that the whole song is a trope for sexual impotence
..cos then he gets stoned and he doesn't care]

What's Mr Clift doing in my soup?

2005-11-28T17:40:00.000Z

http://www.lewisrecordings.com/video/andrewthompson/misunderstanding/

http://niceup.com/patois.txt

(You is a Bong Belly Pickney)

Stichomythia

2005-11-26T14:49:00.000Z

This Month's Don'ts

2005-11-25T20:51:00.000Z

"Shouldn’t this guy be in Iraq dying? Why have wars if you can’t use them to turn human garbage into neat stuff from other countries? This guy would look way better as one of many little white crosses all in a row beneath some heroic bronze sculpture of a soldier. "

pretty fucking harsh? [retards please note Some Staffer At Vice wrote it, not me]
his photo continues the smoking leitmotif, though.

the stalking article was good
the retardo paint was fun too.

On est crevé quand on s'leve le matin

2005-11-25T12:08:00.000Z

If you wanna find yourself by travelling out west
Or if you wanna find somebody else that's better

Go ahead

If you wanna buy a brand new fancy automobile
Or if you wanna build a place up in coldwater canyon

Go ahead

....

If you wanna have your cake and eat it too
And if you wanna have other people watch you while you eat it

Go ahead

Be my Guest

I'm going to post her again

2005-11-24T00:24:00.000Z

she looks sorta inbred. i love her.

actually the photo works because they are both inhaling and throwing poses.

I Want You to Stay

2005-11-22T13:54:00.000Z

I like it when you hear a song and remember why you used to like all those skinny bands with skinny ties and northern accents. Bands with hipster umlauts and sold-out shows at UCL which you didn't go to. Even before the song ends you know you will tire of it and that the next song will be weak.

[I realise that maximo park are neither particularly skinny nor wearing skinny ties in this photo]

Genius Costumes (and other assorted stolen stuff)

2005-11-21T22:33:00.000Z

In other news, 3 essays to write before thursday about 3 plays i haven't read and some poems i haven't read either. SCORE

also they can kick me out if they like, on wednesday.

[btw the top girl had come as 'someonereallyfuckinghot' and i fucking hate the people who write to postscret, but i think it's pretty fucking rad that they tatooed the kid like that]

Me and Lethal

2005-11-20T17:41:00.000Z

Me, Lethal B, best friends, nuff said.

no but i was hanging out in his dressing room not smoking spliffs and not drinking vodka with him. while the groupies threw themselves at him. it was mortifying; we were listening to his own songs played through some tinny little computer speakers, so i changed it to 'philly's most wanted' and i started enthusing about it and he was all 'yeah yeah dat iz mo old skool dan mo'fire crew' and i was like.. um yes. then some fat bitch (clearly not invited as a groupie, must have been a hanger on) turned it off and he left.

Today we work hard to see Lethal B.

2005-11-19T20:18:00.000Z

The Bearer of Evil Tidings

The bearer of evil tidings,
When he was halfway there,
Remembered that evil tidings
Were a dangerous thing to bear.

So when he came to the parting
Where one road led to the throne
And one went off to the mountains
And into the wild unknown,

He took the one to the mountains.
He ran through the Vale of Cashmere,
He ran through the rhodendrons,
Till he came to the land of Pamir.

And there in a precipice valley
A girl of his age he met
Took him home to her bower
Or he might be running yet.

She taught him the tribe's religion:
How, ages and ages since,
A princess en route from China
To marry a Persian prince

Had been found with child; and her army
Had come to a troubled halt.
And though a god was the father
And nobody else was at fault,

It had seemed discreet to remain there
And neither go on nor go back.
So they stayed and declared a village
There in the land of the Yak.

And the child that came of the princess
Established a royal line,
And his mandates were given heed to
Because he was born divine.

And that was why there were people
On one Himalayan shelf:
And the bearer of evil tidings
Decided to stay there himself.

At least he had this in common
With the race he chose to adopt:
They had both of them had their reasons
For stopping where they had stopped.

As for his evil tidings,
Belshazzar's overthrow,
Why hurry to tell Belshazzar
What soon enough he would know?

Robert Frost